A Year In My Thoughts Single

by Shay D

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The third yearly freestyle from Shay D. 2014/2015.


some say aggression some call it passion
never was one to roll in a orderly fashion
i been struggling to chill- hard to relax
my body lies still but my mind runs tracks

boarded a pegasus flew out to an island
couldnt even write coz my mind was so tired
overcomin stress i really try and practise
stuck in a cycle and im getting really anxious

what i done is fucked i brought it to an end
i love you so deep i cant love you again
i had to process, took a few days
crying in the shower, in the kitchen, on the train

you cut me off now our tie was umbilical
panic stricken kickin in i found it somewhat difficult
had no answers to the questions mind state was critical
couldn't write a fuckin bar for months it got physical

coz when i needed you who always showed up
but i need to understand that i need to grow up
look after myself take care of my business
20 just really hard when you're used to be princessed

then it all started pourin, it's been up and down
no guts and no glory
put my energy back to why hip hop tells a story
i do this for my fam, music does something for me

but i am not a victim
how the fuck can i be stressed when feds are killin children
what are we comin to - how can we conceive
that police can choke a human who is pleading he cant breathe

im just speaking from the heart its relatively hard
relatives where masks and they havent even asked
how your progressing with your art and they watch you from the start
watch you over graft, and live in over drafts,

some just hate but shook that theyll show you
share the same blood but dont wanna know you
some stay away coz they dont wanna owe you
some just cuzzy, fam, sis, blud and bro you

i said heart are you listening
you need to get more hard but im giving in
gettin shook of karma
its the sinnin in
a lifestyle that glorifies the opposite of minimum

mum says i run away shook of commitment
fixin all these yoots but i act like a delinquent
when it comes down to youre really on your jays
friends show up when the struggles gon away

i used to see these quotes bout haters and would laugh
i thought we had a friendship that would really last
but you chattin too much shit man you overstepped the mark
and you do not fit my story and you do not fit the cast

two twos now get the two face scowl
couldnt see me do well like youre too phased now
poisoning the minds of a scene ive tried to blossom
but you look so insecure and looking it too often

found enough peace, to allow me to sleep
head against his chest, i could finally dream
but time was so limited hiding all the secrets
my heart might be cautious but i asked him to keep it

this love is so different, born from hesitation
never asked a man to stay with so much desperation
never even planned it, drawn like a magnet
told him if it happens, if he wants i will have it

im all about my purpose, building my community
whats the point of words like peace, love and unity
if all you do is post messages but you dont do the deeds
im bout it if youre bout it then im happy to RT your tweet

will it be the way that l will catch up


released January 25, 2015
Drake - The Catch Up Instrumental



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Shay D UK

Rapper/ Spoken Word Poet/ Youth Worker
Won Best UK Unsigned Hype Award 2012 Best Hip Hop Female Artist
Follow me on Twitter @shaydrap
Promoting dreams, love and real rap!!

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